Thursday, January 27, 2011

Hee Hee Haa Haa

My brother sent this to me... had to share...

Why women lie.

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, 'My dear child, why are you crying?' The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires.

'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, 'No.'

The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies.

'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, 'No.'

The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble.

'Is this your thimble ?' the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, 'Yes' The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, 'Why are you crying?' 'Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!'

The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. 'Is this your husband?' the Lord asked.

'Yes,' cried the seamstress. The Lord was furious. 'You lied! That is an untruth!' The seamstress replied, 'Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt.

Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney.

And so the Lord let her keep him.

The moral of this story is:

Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it. 

: )

Then he sent these to me.  Doesn't he understand I'm trying to work???
-Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

-Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
-Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't..
-If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

-I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
-A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
-A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
-I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it... so I said "Implants?"

-The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
-The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
-A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.


Kathy said...


Calico Rabbit said...

LOVE these!

Thanks for sharing!

Katya5 said...

HEhehehee.. Funny!

Witch of Stitches said...

Love these, I've seen them before, but they always make me laugh. Thanks for the chuckle.

Anonymous said...

that was a very smart woman!

Rachael xxx said...

OMGosh so funny